I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
