ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
