sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
