It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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