If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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