Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
