i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
