How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
