I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
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