porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
