Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
