Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
