I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
