is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
