I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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