I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
