and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i out mim tonsoeep
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
