Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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