omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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