No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Your penis caused this!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
