I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize