i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My ass is underappreciated
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
