No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
