i jhust puked up my retainher.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
