I've blown a few things in my day
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
