He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
