Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
