I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
