i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Small penises have feelings too.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
