Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
