I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
