no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
