I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
