My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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