Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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