i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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