Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
