I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
