why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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