The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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