playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
