i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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