You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
