mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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