its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
