I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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