Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
