i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
