I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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