They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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