I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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