how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
