Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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