and i looked up. we had an audience...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
