btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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