This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
