He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
