is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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