She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
