idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
