I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
